the thing about grief...



greif cannot be scheduled.
it cares not about location 
time
convenience.

it isn't pretty
quiet
or peaceful

greif is waves
raindrops
oceans

it's long showers
piles of blankets
and not enough oxygen

greif.
doesn't.
stop.
hurting.




homesick


hey friends.

Thanks for so patiently waiting through my unexpected month-long blogging break.

As many of you know, in August I moved across the country to attend university. It's been a big change, and has (and will continue) to stretch me in ways I could never imagine. Things are going well, and I'm so so thankful to be here! Yet as these past months have been full of transition, I've found it hard to muster up enough courage to be vulnerable on the internet.

BUT.

God is so good! He is filling my heart and mind with so many things, and I still believe that being honest in the good AND bad is where authentic relationships and community live.

thussss, I'm here to tell you something.

I'm homesick.

The anniversary of my sweet friend's death was last week.
My sister's birthday was Sunday.
I got a concussion two days ago and I feel terrible.
I want nothing more then to go home and let people take care of me.

I miss the trees, the ocean, the coffee, my dog, and a whole town full of houses belonging to people I love.

My heart and my head hurt.

I want to be home like everyone else during this fall-break weekend, instead of sleeping in a empty dorm.

But God shows up each morning.

He's in the physical things that remind me I am loved.

He's in caring professors that believe in me.

He's in warm cups of coffee.

He's in the dance studio at 11pm.

He's in tearful conversations with new friends.

He's in the people that love like Jesus- full of compassion, grace, and empathy.

He doesn't. Stop. Showing. Up.


So my prayer for you is that in the midst of whatever homesickness you face- homesick for a place, a relationship, or our eternal home- that you will find Jesus throughout your day.